


Born Of The Stars

by LovelyLittleTri



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Cancer, Character Death, Chubby Marco Bott, Depression, Dorks in Love, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, French Jean Kirstein, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mentions of Cancer, Past Abuse, Past Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Past Sexual Abuse, Pastel Armin Arlert, Pastel Marco Bott, Physical Abuse, Punk Jean Kirstein, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, True Love, Weird Hange Zoë, australian marco bott
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2018-07-15 22:39:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7241653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyLittleTri/pseuds/LovelyLittleTri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't know how this happened...it happened very suddenly and unexpectedly... You seen, I, Jean Kirstein, may or may not be absolutely, unbelievably, head over heels for my best friend and neighbour, Marco Bott. <br/>Oh dear lord, please help me....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. FML

**Author's Note:**

> Wowza, sup everyone! This is Tri-Senpai. So, this is my first ever JeanMarco fanfiction sooooooooooooo....pls don't judge. I tried really hard on this. My editor, the amazing Baguette Teetan and I have worked really hard on this. Do yeah, enjoy!

Chapter One

It was a quiet morning in the small town of Trost. The time was about 07:00, and you'd think that anyone sane would still be fast asleep. But, y'know, school wants us to get up half dead at ass-crack-o'clock in the morning, so yeah. My alarm blared 1985 by Bowling for Soup, startling me and making me fall out of bed.  
“Shit…” I mumbled, lying on the ground and staring up at my ceiling. My amber eyes examined the pure white canopy above my head, gazing over the slightest crack around my fan. Bringing my pale hands up to my face, I slowly trailed my nails over the skin, tracing over bumps from a few spots of acne. I've never had a problem with it before, but that never stopped the occasional pimple or zit from invading my face. I picked at the raw skin at the base of my knuckles, humming softly before finally pulling myself up off the floor.  
Dragging my feet, I trudged to the bathroom, which was only a couple doors down from my bedroom. The halls were cold and empty, causing me to shiver in the boxers and long sleeved shirt I was wearing. Winters in Trost were like being living in the ice age. But then again, it was just me and my mom here. I didn't worry a lot about privacy because Mom was working pretty much all day. I usually had the house to myself, so getting caught walking around naked or smoking wasn't really a problem. After showering, I headed back to my room, running a hand through my wet hair.   
Entering my room, I dropped the towel that was around my waist, grabbed a pair of black smiley-face boxer briefs from my messy closet, and pulled them on. Wriggling on my jeans and my Trost Public High School hockey hoodie, I started out of the house towards my rusty old red truck.  
My hands trembled slightly in the chilly air, as they were still partially damp from my shower. I unlocked my truck as quickly as possible and clambered inside.   
It was a fairly old truck, and the dude I bought it from didn't have the unlock button fixed so I had to manually unlock the door every time. But hey, I'm not complaining. It's a pretty nice truck, and it has a satisfactory amount of miles, but I should try to get a key fob for it. Upon entering the vehicle, I slammed the door shut, causing snow to fall off the roof and down the side of the door and the top of the hood, Right away, I turned on the heating system of the car, my windshield fogging up afterwards.  
Annoyed, I leaned forward in my seat and ran my hands through my still damp hair, lightly gripping the locks. After a few minutes, my windshield unfogged and I progressed to the hell hole otherwise known as Trost High.  
Trost Public High School... I, Jean Kirstein, have been stuck here for about two years and still had to suffer two more…  
Fuck. My. Life.  
\-----------------  
It took me exactly thirteen minutes and fifty-nine seconds (yes, I counted) to drive from my house to the school parking lot. Two minutes for me to get out of my truck, grab my bag, and lock the pickup. Nine and a half seconds for me to finally realize the most important thing that I forgot today.  
It was Saturday.  
It was 08:05 in the morning on a Saturday, in the middle of December. And I was standing in front of the iced-over, locked doors of Trost Fucking High School.   
“God dammit!” I shouted angrily, stomping back to my car. Of course this happens to me, It always does! What's next? I lose my car keys? My mom gets held back late at work again? I fumbled with my keys, dropping them in the snow a few times before finally unlocking the door and climbing inside. I let out a long sigh, laying my head on the steering wheel. My big fat nose pressed the against the horn button, causing the vehicle to scream at me.  
"Shit, shit, shit!!!" I gritted my teeth and banged my fists against the dashboard.   
I hate everything. I shoved my key into the ignition and started the car up. Pissed, I drove home quickly, speeding quite a bit. I'm honestly surprised I didn't get pulled over since I was going about seventy in a forty-five zone. As I pulled up to my house, I noticed a moving van in the driveway of the house next door to mine. So, someone's finally moving into that house. It's about damn time. The last time someone lived there was when I was in primary school. A single woman used to live there alone; she was attractive for the most part, but she had an ugly heart. The day she left was the last time I saw my deadbeat father as well.  
Yeah, I’ve got some issues with my dad. Even when he was here, we weren't very close. I always knew he wasn't a faithful man, having had caught him screwing his assistant and the maid we had a while back. It was real shitty to find my own father doing fucked up stuff like that. Every time I saw it, he would always pull me aside and try to bribe me to keep quiet. The day I found him and the lady next door was the worst, mostly because his room was directly across from mine, and when I say I heard everything, I mean it. It wasn't long after that my mom figured out what that son of a bitch was doing and kicked both my father and our whore neighbour out of the house that day.  
My life is dysfunctional, so...yeah. Now, enough of my internal monologuing It's time for me to stalk my new neighbors for a bit.   
I peeked at the other house through my window to check out who they were. I spotted an older woman with long black hair tied back in a braid with tan skin that was sprinkled with seemingly thousands of freckles. In her arms was a little girl ,whom was identical to her, and an older girl (who looked about twelve) stood next to her. Dawe...they look nice…   
“Stop it, Marco!” A male voice shouted from around the truck. The voice was adorned with a thick Australian accent that, honestly, made his statement almost hard to make out. Two boys appeared from around the corner, one of them looking similar like the twelve year old girl. It was extremely obvious that they were twins. They both had light brown hair with warm (almost too happy) smiles plastered to their faces.  
The second boy took me aback. He was...in all honesty, he was pretty cute.In case you haven’t noticed, I'm as straight as a rainbow. My friends said that if I were a movie, I'd be rated PG for Pretty Gay.   
Again, enough about me, back to the cutie next door. I gazed out the window of my car, a small blush rising to my cheeks as I watched the boy. His curly, dark brown hair fell perfectly in front of his warm-colored eyes. His tan hand moved up to his freckled cheek and brushed a lock off of his flawless face. A shiver ran down my spine at the sound of his sweet laugh, causing me to finally tear my eyes away from him. 

I’ve gotta get out of here before I get a hard on. Reaching over to the door, I opened it and got out. Rushing into the house, I quickly shut the door before they could notice me. My heart thundered against my chest as I released a little sigh, leaning on the door. Damn, he was cute…  
I coughed a little and sniffled, cursing life under my breath. I went into the den and sat next to the fireplace, reaching over to the foot rest compartment and opening it before grabbing out a blanket. Sighing, I closed my eyes and began to doze in and out of consciousness.  
\--------  
I'm not sure how long I was asleep, but I woke up to the sensation of my mom shaking me awake. Groggily, I yawned and looked up at her.   
“Whaaa...?” I questioned, scrunching up my nose at the sudden scent of cookies. I’ve always hated sweets. I looked up at my mother, noticing how nicely she was dressed. She was wearing her blue Sunday church dress and beautiful, expensive-looking jewelry. Arching an eyebrow at her, I yawned once more.  
“Get up, we're going over to greet the new neighbors,” she declared, pushing her curly blonde locks behind her ear. I sighed and got up, still dressed from this morning. My mom then shoved a plate of M&M cookies into my arms, earning an eye roll. She gave me a look that said, "young man you better be nice or so help me," before trotting out of the house with me at toe.  
We approached the neighbour's house, my mother plastering a big smile on her face as she knocked. Meanwhile,I still held the same annoyed expression I always wore. A shout came from the other side of the entrance , followed by a bit of bickering before the door opened.


	2. Meet the Bodts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically Jean pops a boner for Marco. Not actually, but he meets Marco and the family. I such at discriptions. I hope you guys enjoy it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY FOR SUCH A LONG WAIT! I HAVE BEEN SO INCREDIBLY BUSY RECENTLY I AM SO SORRY! FORGIVE MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Chapter Two  
The door up as it revealed the a pair of twins, the two being a girl and boy. Each were identical as they both had dark grey eyes and light brown hair. They both shared the same annoyed expressions. I raised a brow at the two in confusion, not understanding the reason why they were glaring at my mother and I.  
“Maxi! Maddie! Who's at the door?” a little girl called, skipping into my view. Her hair was darker than her siblings’, while her eyes wildly contrasted: a light brown color sparkled at me instead of a cold grey. My mom offered a little smile as she spoke with the kids, introducing us to them. I dozed out of reality as I thought a little, wondering where the cute older brother was.  
That guy was pretty damn adorable, and he looked at least my age. His siblings looked extremely similar to him as well, as they all were darker of skin and had many, many freckles. An older woman came into frame. The woman had a few wrinkles on her more round face, as well as her body (and I mean this in the nicest way) definitely said that she had carried four children as she was a little more...round.   
“Marie, come back here, you need to take your vitamins--Oh, hello!” The woman smiled at us, wrapping her chunkier arms around her three children. My mother smiled as she introduced us once again.  
“Hi! I'm Stacy Kirschtein, and this is my son, Jean. We live next door,” She explained in a sugary-sweet voice, gesturing to me with a wave of her red taloned hand. I learned that the woman's name was Molly Bodt and that she lived with her husband Mark along with four kids. Her youngest’s name was Marie, the middle twins were Maddie and Max, and her oldest was Marco. I assumed that Marco and Mark were off elsewhere doing something.  
My mother and I walked in when we were gestured to enter, my curious eyes trailing off in every which way to inspect the house. It was a pretty nice, but definitely a fixer upper though. For instance, the paint was chipped and the carpet was stained badly from the previous owners. With a little work, this might be a really beautiful home. I was startled out of my thoughts by the mention of my name, wide-eyed and confused.  
“Hah?” I stuttered, earning giggles from the little one. I smiled awkwardly at her, as I wasn’t very good with kids. Though,they all seemed to like me for no apparent reason. Like, seriously, I would do nothing and they'll hug me. Are kids always this friendly?  
“Well, I told Molly here that you were very good with art and that you're strong, so you can help them with painting and unpacking!” My mother told me, causing me to narrow my eyes at her. Why does she always have to do this to me? I gave a sigh and nod a little, faking a smile when I noticed that the pipsqueak had began giving me puppy dog eyes.  
I kneeled down and ruffled up the little girl's hair, earning a blush and giggle from her as she smiled widely. “I'd gladly help you,” I said in a soft tone, attempting to be nice for once. Marie began to bounce with excitement, her little arms wrapping around my own slender arm.   
“Yaaay!” she cheered , grinning ear to ear. Everyone in the room jumped at the sound of a sudden, loud bang.   
“Son of barrel!” a familiar thick accented voice cried out. Maddie and Marie were gasping madly as they raced into the other room. I glanced at my mother and the two Bodts before we all rushed into the opposing room. Ahhh, there he was. The cute Marco guy from before was clutching his head in agony, a wooden plaque that had a family quote on it was on the ground.   
“Marcipoo!” Marie cried as she ran over to her brother, hugging him tightly and resting her small head on her older sibling’s shoulder. Marco gave a small laugh as he patted her head, trying to reassure the little girl. Marie nuzzled her head into his belly as she pummeled his chest with her little fist, calling him different childish insults for making her worry about him.   
I watched them, a little smile rising to my lips as I couldn’t help but love how close they were. I don’t have any siblings that I know of, so I honestly can’t say that I know how they feel. I want a little sister to protect! Or at least a brother that I can talk about guy stuff too scare the shit out of.I glanced at my mother, spotting her chatting with Mrs. Bott rather excitedly. This can’t be good.   
I was about to sneak out of the room when I noticed that little squirt, Marie, was giving me those big brown puppy-dog eyes, practically begging me to help Marco. I swallowed down any reasons I should leave and approached the little girl and her brother. Marco was about two inches taller than me, and seemed muscular but slightly chunky at the same time. His hands were big and scarred; obviously he worked a lot with machines and possibly farm equipment... Maybe he worked on a farm? Assuming from his barbed-wire-looking scars, that is. The thing that interested me the most about his hands was how gentle he held his sister. His hands looked soft despite their hard exterior. Taking one final, big breath, I stopped in front of the two, leaning down and gingerly picking up the family plaque with a small, awkward smile.   
“Uh, are you okay?” I asked with a slight tilt of the head. I watched as Marco slowly looked up at me, his chocolatey brown eyes slowly widening when he looked at me.  
“Holy shit…” he whispered under his breath. Marie slipped from his grip and running over to give me a hug. I was a little confused at the boy’s reaction, brushing it off and holding out the thing he dropped.   
“Uhm, here?” I said, my words forming like a question. He simply stared at me, making me shift very awkwardly under his gaze. My amber eyes dropped down to the plaque, actually reading what it said. On it was a quote about family, the plaque stating, ‘The Love of a Family is life’s greatest Blessing’.   
That was kind of a sweet quote, and I wondered where they got it from. I frowned, envying the family's relationship as a whole. I was really close to my mom I guess, but not like these people. Just the way that Marie clinged to Marco, and the concern that the others had when he had hurt himself annoyed me almost. There is just something about a relationship like that that bugs me…  
I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of the pipsqueak saying my name. My eyes trailed to the girl and I saw her tugging at my hand. A small chuckle escaped my mouth without my permission as she dragged me closer to her brother. Why is he so freaking gorgeous? Like, he looks like a damn sex god or some shit. Shit, is she going to make me help him? What if I do something stupid? Or hit on him! I bet he’s not even gay…  
Ah shit...now I have to help himmmm...


	3. A River of Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean gets sometime to hang out with Marco and really bond the way that guys do. Y'know, spill there life story, cry, the share a kiss. 'Cause why the hell not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, gals, and nonbinary pals. So I got myself a new editor and she's my best friend. She is merciless towards me so I basically reconsturcted the first two chapters if you haven't noticed. Anyhoodie, I hope you guys like this chapter!

Chapter Three  
“So...your name is Jean?”   
I gave a bored nod as I sat across from Marco at his kitchen table. Honestly, don’t ask me how I got in this situation… I hardly even know myself. All I know is that my mom is a bitch. I really want to go home.   
No offense to Marco and his family, of course. It’s just that I would rather be playing Left 4 Dead and eating pizza than sitting around this table conversing with people with a nice homemade meal…  
What the hell is wrong with me? This is actually supposed to be a really nice thing, so why do I not want to be here? I swear, I have to be stupid or something…  
“So, what school do you go to?” I heard that fucking angel speak in his majestic-ass voice. I swear, that boy is making me gayer by the second. He literally looks like a god damn god with his chocolate skin and gorgeous eyes that seemed to stare into my soul.  
“Um, Jean? You okay?” I snapped out of my thoughts at the sound of Maddie speaking up, glancing at the girl and giving her a little smile.   
“Oh, I’m fine. Sorry...anyways, I got to Trost High School…” I mumbled, rolling a meatball around my plate. My eyes slowly trailed up, noticing that the Marco kid was staring at me with a rather large smile plastered onto his face.   
Why...why is he staring at me like that? Is there something on my face? God damnit, I swear…  
I couldn’t help but furrow my eyebrows in confusion, stuttering, “What? Do I have something on my face?” I quickly questioned starting to rub at my mouth.   
Marco gave a soft chuckle, smiling at me as he took a bite out of a meat ball. I couldn’t help but give a slight shiver, biting my lip as I looked down with a blush. Ah shit...I think my Pretty Gay rating just went to Hella Gay.  
I rapidly stuffed my face with spaghetti, staring awkwardly down at my plate. Why am I like this?  
God, being gay sucks.   
\----------------------  
“So, Jean, are you out for any sports?” Mrs. Bodt asked as all of us were sitting in their living room. I pulled my eyes away from my phone, turning it off with a little nod as I cleared my throat a little nervously. I hate talking about myself. It makes me feel selfish…  
“U-Uh, yeah...I’m in hockey,” I said nervously. My mother jumped onto the end of the statement and she began to basically give a background on my career. I play for the Recon Hockey Team, which is lead by Coach Erwin Smith along with his butt buddy--I mean, his co-coach Levi Ackerman. Literally the only reason I’m in hockey is because my therapist told me it’d be a good way to release my anger...then again, she also told Eren Asshole Jaeger to do the same, so now he’s on the team with me. I wish he would’ve joined that damn Titan   
team instead of mine…  
I jumped a little as I suddenly felt a warm hand rest atop my shoulder. My head tilted to the side as I noticed it belonged to Marco. Slowly, I began to turn towards the tall, muscular god.   
“What?” I whispered to him, confused.   
The freckled male just gave me a little smile, and he whispered back to me, “Hey, do you maybe want to head up to my room? I’ve got video games and stuff-”  
Before he could finish, I was already jumping to my feet, my cold, slender hand grasping his larger, warm one. My eyes met his as I spoke two simple words in a very serious tone: “Let’s go.”  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
A laugh escaped my mouth as Marco finished his goofy impression of his father. I covered my mouth to conceal my snorts, squeezing my eyes shut. My smile grew larger when I heard Marco’s beautiful laugh.   
I opened my amber eyes to catch sight of his adorable face. Can I just mention how fucking cute he looks when he laughs? His nose does this cute action where it scrunches up, which shifts all of his freckles almost an inch farther up on his face. And like his eyes freaking sparkle! I’m pretty sure he has tiny stars creeping in the back of his head, and they come out and shine when he laughs. Jesus, I had no clue someone could be this damn cute!  
“So...um, I noticed you were getting a little uncomfortable downstairs when your mom started to, like, talk about you...are you okay?” Marco had stopped laughing, now shifting to sit closer to me as his hand patted my knee.   
Oh.   
My.   
God.  
Shrugging my shoulders a little, my eyes averted his, landing on my lap. Shit... why am I getting all bashful all of a sudden?! I released a soft sigh before running my thin fingers through my short, dry hair. Once I found the right words, I began to speak with a little disdain in my voice.   
“I’m fine...it’s just, my mom…” I mumbled, trying to ignore Marco’s thumb rubbing my knee in a comforting motion. My eyes shifted upwards and I looked at the freckled male next to me. Something about him...it makes me feel like I know him. I just can’t put my finger on it. It feels as though he’s the only person I can trust…  
I trust him. I am sure. I can trust him with this information about me.   
“My mom...she doesn’t like me. I know that sounds stupid, but it’s true.” I defended myself when Marco was about to say something. “I was a mistake in the first place...My mom and dad had me when they were fairly young, and I guess I kind of ruined their lives. My mom had to drop out of college, and my dad had gotten three jobs to support the family. Honestly, I’m not really surprised that the asshole left us. They were both always...disappointed in me…”   
I took a deep, shaky breath and I tried to keep my composure as I spoke, “They treated me like a burden from a young age, so I just thought I always was. The night my mom kicked my dad out, she had blamed me for his infidelity, saying that if they hadn’t had me they would be happy a-and just have a better life…” I sniffled a little and started stuttering slightly. I quickly rubbed my eyes as I could feel tears threatening to fall out. I’m sharing too much...why can’t I stop? I haven’t even told my therapist this…  
“I tried to be better, but I never was...I’m not smart, I’m not talented,I’m not athletic... All I’m good at is sitting on my ass and being a lazy piece of shit. I’m tired of her making up these achievements, and trying to make me seem like more than I actually am. I can’t stand living a fucking lie so she can be adored by others!” At this point I could feel myself losing control of my voice as it started to grow louder. Why can’t I stop? I shouldn’t be telling him this, I just met him! God, I’m such an idiot-  
A small gasp left my pale lips as Marco pulled me into a tight hug, his warm arms holding me protectively. I could feel myself trembling as I tried to control my emotions, tears welling up in my eyes.   
“You’re not...You’re not a mistake, nor a piece of shit. Jean, I can’t say that I know how you feel, but I can see that you’re hurt. I would tell you to talk to your mother, but I know how hard that is…” I sat there silently as I listened to his honey-sweet voice, shaking as I tried to stop myself from crying. Marco spoke again, his gentle hand caressing my head. “Please...don’t hesitate to tell me this stuff. I can tell that we’ll be great friends, and I will always be here to listen to you. I will come over and talk with you at three in the morning if you ever start to feel like this. You don’t have to keep this all to yourself. You have no reason to hide your tears or anything, ‘cause I’llalways be your shoulder to cry on from now on…”   
Now, kids, please remember that there are a lot of terrible things in life. Marco Bodt is not one of them. This boy is a pure angel...and what I’m about to do is not something that you should do this kind of situation. This might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever done, and with this one action, I may have just lost the only friend that I’ve actually trusted completely.   
Before I could stop myself, I pressed my thin lips to Marco’s. The kiss lasted merely three seconds, and in those few seconds I had left this body and gone somewhere that I can only imagine is heaven. Marco Bodt was the sweetest thing that I have, and ever will, taste. His lips were sweet like sugar cane and warm like freshly baked cookies. I usually hate sweets, but I will make a special exception for this boy.   
Sadly, every good moment has to come to an end. And this moment ended far too soon.   
Marco’s hands moved to rest on my chest and he pushed me away roughly. His hand flew to his mouth and he covered his lips.   
Do you know what it feels like to have your heart snapped in half?  
It hurts.   
It’s hurt really fucking bad.


	4. Marco Bodty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean is being a loser and Marco comes over. They get it onnnn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT GUYS, I'VE BEEN WRITING THIS ALL DAY. LIKE I WOKE AT NINE, STARTED WRITING AT TEN AND NOW ITS EIGHT. WTF.  
> I HOPE YOU LITTLE SHITS LIKE IT!
> 
> Also, if you little pervs wanna like ask questions and shit, message me at my tumblr whenever: http://actualjeanmarcotrash.tumblr.com
> 
> So yeah

Chapter Four

“Wait, he full-on pushed you away?!” Sasha gasped, while Connie broke out laughing and fell over. After that embarrassing mistake, I basically ran home. It’s sunday morning now and my first response was to call Sasha and Connie for a group Skype.  
“Dude, that’s fucking hilarious!” Connie cried out in laughter, rubbing tears from his eyes. Sasha scowled at her screen, glaring at Connie through her computer. I gave a little sigh, frowning as I continuously ran my pale fingers through my hair.  
“Connie, this is serious...you laughing really isn’t helping my self esteem right now…” I mumbled, glancing at my monitor with sad eyes. I noticed Sasha’s expression harden before hearing her keyboard clicking through my speakers, causing Connie’s laughter to cease. I was confused before realizing Sasha muted his mic.  
“Thanks, Sash…” I gave her a little smile, the brunette returning it as she leaned forward and began to speak.  
“Don’t let this get to you, Jean, he was probably shocked. You are literally the cutest guy at our school, and if you weren’t gay, I’d probably have a crush on you. Anyways, it’s just one guy! Aren’t you going on a date with Armin this week?” Sasha asked, and I gave her a nod.  
That’s right, I asked that blonde coconut out on a date. Hah! How could I forget that? Eren literally looked like he was going to murder me. Though, Armin is really cute, but I don’t really see myself going anywhere in that relationship…  
Another sigh escaped my thin lips as I gave a little shrug. My eyes trailed back to my laptop, noticing the chat section was filled with Connie’s furious messages. 

stoner-for-life-69: WTF WHY’D U MUTE ME  
stoner-for-life-69: SASHA U BITCH  
stoner-for-life-69: WTF SASHA!? U CAN’T SAY HE’S THE CUTEST  
stoner-for-life-69: WHAT ABOUT MY CUTE ASS  
stoner-for-life-69: FUCKIGN NOTICE ME U BITCH!  
stoner-for-life-69: Sash  
stoner-for-life-69: Babe  
stoner-for-life-69: Pls baby, I won’t laugh anymore  
stoner-for-life-69: I’m gonna cry, Jean unmute me u donkey-looking fuck

A smirk materialized onto my face as I began to type up a response to Connie, laughing to myself. I could see Sasha’s confusion as I pressed enter, and I leaned back a little, content with my reply. 

save-a-horse-ride-a-cowboy: At least someone woudl ride this donkey.  
stoner-for-life-69: fuck you Jean, you dick muncher. I’m going to get McDonalds.  
potato-bitch: Bring me some fries!  
stoner-for-life-69: K

stoner-for-life-69 has logged off

potato-bitch: Imma go, text me later if anything else happens wiht Mr. Freckles.  
save-a-horse-ride-a-cowboy: Okay, dont eat to much  
potato-bitch: no promises

potato-bitch has logged off

Once Sasha logged off, I shut my laptop. A sigh departed my mouth once again as I stood up. I wish I could say that most conversations with them aren’t always like that, but I’d be lying. Literally every one of them end like that. Sasha and Connie are...interesting. But, nonetheless, I love them.  
I’m hungry now, thanks to them...I wonder if we still have some pizza from the other day…  
Humming to myself, I bounced down the stairs. I sang a random-ass song that had been in my head all day. I don’t even know what the hell the name was. Why the hell do I have this stuck in my head? I need to stop falling asleep while listening to music. Anyways, I’m hungry. I opened up the fridge and raided its contents. Oh my god! We have Dr. Pepper! Score!  
I grabbed the two liter of soda and a box of pizza. I forgot what kind my mom had gotten. As long as there’s no pineapple, I’ll eat it. I started towards the living-room, plopping down on the couch and opening the box. Hell yeah! It’s pepperoni!  
I grabbed a slice and opened the bottle of soda, taking a swig before turning on Cupcake Wars. I know what you’re thinking, but screw off. I love this show! I began to munch on my pizza as I watched it. Of course you’re going to be eliminated! You didn’t finish your fucking decorations! I bet the cupcakes taste like shit. Why the hell would you make a cornbread cupcake? I mean, cornbread is wayyyy too dense. I don’t even think that’s a cupcake. I could do so much better than her.  
My inner monologue was interrupted by the door bell ringing. God dammit, and they were just about to roast that girl's cupcake! I gave a little whine before pulling myself off the couch, trudging to the door with an annoyed expression.  
“What-” I had started to snap before my eyes went wide, slamming the door shut immediately.  
Oh. My. God.  
I turned towards the door then, looking through the peeping hole. Standing outside my door was Marco Fucking Bodt! Why is he here? I thought he hated me! Why the fuck is he here?!  
Wait.  
Did I just?  
Did I just slam the door in his face?  
Shit.  
“U-Uh, Jean? I-It’s Marco...can I talk to you?” I heard Marco call from outside the door. Fuck.  
“Y-Yeah, sorry…” I mumbled, slowly opening the door. Oh my god, he’s so cute! I couldn’t help but internally scream. How can someone be both so cute and sexy at the same time? Is this guy even real? Damnit, I really want to kiss him again…  
“Hi,” I murmured when I heard Marco speak, glancing at the freckled male. A blush flushed across my pale cheeks as I saw the cute little smile that adorned his chunky freckled cheeks. AHHH! I JUST WANNA SQUEEZE THOSE LITTLE CHEEKS AND KISS ‘EM!  
“Are you alright? Hello? Earth to Jean?” I jumped slightly as a big, tan hand waved in front of my face.  
“Hah? Sorry, I was just...thinking…” Why is he here? Like, I kissed him. He pushed me away. Why the hell would he come here and attempt to talk to me? Maybe he doesn’t completely hate me…  
“Do you want to come in?” I asked him, moving aside so he could come inside. I heard Marco utter a quiet “thank you” before entering my house. Biting my lip nervously, I shut the door behind him and sighed slightly before following him to the living room. I slumped onto the couch, watching Marco.  
He looked around before slowly sitting down on the loveseat, fiddling with his thumbs. Oh god, he’s so adorable…  
“So, what did you want to talk about?” I leaned forward a little, resting my chin on my hands curiously. My head tilted to the side slightly, my face resting in its natural bitch expression.  
“W-Well…uhm...I wanted to talk to you about what happened yesterday…” Marco struggled to get those words out, looking away from me as his adorably chunky cheeks turned a bright pink colour.  
“Oh yeah...about that, sorry. It was just a reflex of sorts...I wasn’t thinking. I was just caught in the moment and really wanted to kiss you. I promise I won’t do it again,” I had began to ramble at some point. I need to stop doing. I talk way too much. I need to shut up sometimes. I’ve been talking so much, I haven’t let Marco speak. He probably has something to say.  
“Sorry, I’ll shut up now. What were you going to say-” Before I could finish my sentence, something smacked my forehead hard. I gave a slight gasp before groaning in pain. My eyes immediately went to Marco, watching as the freckled boy hold his own forehead.  
“Dude?! What the fuck?!” I snapped at him, rubbing my forehead. Am I bleeding? Why the hell did he headbutt me?!  
“S-Sorry, I was trying to make a bold gesture…” Marco mumbled, a little blood on his forehead as well. I looked at him with wide eyes.  
“Bold gesture?! You fucking headbutted me! That’s not bold, it's violent!” I had raised my voice a little. Bold gesture? How the hell is that a bold gesture?! Is this payback for me kissing him?!  
“I was trying to kiss you!” Marco snapped at me, his round cheeks now rosy red. I could feel my own cheeks starting to heat up.  
“What?” I asked, not believing that I heard him correctly. Marco didn’t respond;he just looked down. Oh my god. Is he serious? What do I do? Do I kiss him? Do I say nothing? Am I supposed to make the move? Or is he? God damnit! Why is this so hard?!  
“S-Sorry...I’ll go,” Marco mumbled, rising and starting towards the door. Wait, what? Shit, no!  
I bolted forward, grabbing his wrist and stopping him. Okay, I do have to make the move, but whatever.  
A smile came to my thin lips as I watched that angel turn his head towards me, a confused expression covering his sweet face. Reaching my hand out, my hand cupped his chunky, tan cheek. D'awww! They’re so squishy! He’s so cute when he’s startled. God, he has such cute doe eyes. Ugh, his eyes are such a warm shade of chocolatey brown. I could drown in those eyes.  
My bottom lip got caught in my teeth before I leaned in towards his him. My face stopped in front of his, our lips only a few inches apart. I could feel his warm breath fan against my lips . My amber eyes met his beautiful chocolate ones before flickering down to his lips.  
Those lips…  
It’s weird to think that only yesterday they had met, and here we are again. In a similar (not quite) situation.  
God, I hate to say it, but those damn lips had kept me awake that night. They were so soft and sweet. I swear, I’m addicted to them like Sasha to potatoes.  
My hand slid over on his cheek, my thumb sliding over his luscious bottom lip. God, his lips are so pouty and kissable! I can’t control myself. I’m sorry Marco, if I push you farther than you want, but I need this.  
Removing my thumb, my head slowly moved forward. Just like last night, my lips claimed his. Only this time, the kiss didn’t end right away.  
Dear god, he tastes so fucking sweet. I love it.  
My hands traveled up to Marco’s curly black locks as I pressed my lips harder to the other’s, a small squeak igniting from Marco. He makes the cutest sounds...I wonder what sounds he’d make in bed.  
Damn...just the thought of him laying in my bed.  
Squirming...moaning my name...pulling at my hair…  
“J-Jean!” I heard Marco gasp, pulling out of the kiss. Ah shit...it seems my not-so-little ‘friend’ has made an appearance. I blushed and started to pull away, but Marco wrapped his arms around my shoulders. My eyes went to Marco’s in confusion.  
“Fudge it…” Marco mumbled before he pulled me closer, kissing me hard. I gasped slightly before returning the kiss gladly, my teeth catching Marco’s soft lip and tugging at it.  
Y’know, I could get used to this...


	5. Chapter Five: What The Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean gets some. Marco isn't into it.

Chapter Five  
I groaned a little as a bright light poured into the room, my eyelids blinking tiredly at the sunshine. A little sigh left my mouth as I tried to stretch. Why is my chest so heavy? And why is it so warm?

My hands slowly slid to my chest, meeting something that feels like hair.   
What?

My head snapped down, eyes growing wide at the sight. Laying on my chest was Marco Freaking Bodt! Ohmygod! What the hell did I do? Did we actually? I just thought that was a really good dream!

A little groan came from the freckled god laying on my chest, his beautiful face lifting up as his bony chin rested on my male boob bone. My golden eyes met his gorgeous, chocolaty brown ones. Oh dear lord, what was I thinking about again? I swear, everytime I look into those beautiful eyes, my mind goes to mush. 

I felt his thick, gentle hand begin to fiddle with my hair, my eyes fluttering shut in relaxation as I leaned into his touch. Soft lips lightly pressed against mine, a quiet moan escaping my mouth at the taste. 

Seriously, who needs cocaine when you have this boy's lips? And da booty.

The sweet kiss broke all too soon as Marco pulled away, his delicious lips curling into a fucking adorable-ass smile. The freckled god tilted his head to the side slightly, his eyes staring into mine.

I felt like I was melting. A warmth sprouted in my chest, causing a slight tingling pain to blossom. The tingle hurt, but at the same time, it felt nice. I liked it…  
This boy is honestly like a prince out of a story book. He shines so brightly in my dull room, and it makes me feel weird. I don’t how to describe it. This feeling is so pure and innocent, but at the same time it feels violent, almost aggressive.   
Is this love?

Hahahaha, lol, no way. I just met this guy. 

Love is supposed to make you feel happy and airy! You’re supposed to have little butterflies and feel all warm inside.   
That is not how I feel right now. I feel sick and lightheaded. Instead of butterflies in my stomach, I have a swarm of fucking wasps that make me feel nauseous. And there is no comforting warmth! Nah, instead I feel like I’m boiling under this gorgeous boy. 

Maybe I’m sick...yeah, that’s gotta be it. I’m just sick.

My boney fingers slowly ran over my neck, stopping as I flinched a little. My index finger and middle finger slowly began to feel a certain spot on my neck cautiously. The flesh was more tender than the rest of my skin, and it felt more smooth. Is...is this a hickey? Shit, if it is then I gotta steal my mom's make up again! 

A beautiful sound escaped that sexy beast Marco. I quickly looked over at him as he leaned in, pressing a little kiss to the tender area on my neck and smiling. 

“So sorry mate...I guess I got carried away…” Marco mused playfully as he slowly sat up on my lap. 

I could feel my jaw drop as my eyes slowly began to trace over the boy. He was fairly well built for being a little chubby cutie patootie. Many beautiful freckles and occasional moles littered his delicious caramel skin. I couldn’t help but notice light scars scattered down his thighs. 

 

Oh.

 

I know those marks far too well…

Slowly, I examined the scars on his beautifully thick thighs before examining the pale scars on my thin wrists. Reaching forwards hesitantly, I ran my thumb over Marcos naked thigh. My eyes traveled to his, immediately catching the sight of the brokenness in them. 

Shit, how did I not notice the fakeness in his eyes whenever he smiled?

I mean, sure, we just met, but something about him tells me that we could have known each other forever…

A little sound escaped Marco as he stood up, grabbing his clothes quickly as if he was panicked. 

“I-I have to go...I’m sorry…” Marco mumbled as he began to pull his skinny jeans over his big cute booty. His big, dark hands began to run through his hair over and over again while he looked around for his shirt. 

I frown as I stood up, starting towards him. 

“Marco...sit down and take a breath…” I spoke in a soft voice, placing a hand on his back. My eyes widened before my hand flew to my now reddening cheek. 

D-Did he just hit me?

What the actual fuck?!

Marco clutched his shirt to his chest, looking at me with big, terrified eyes as he slowly stuttered out,“I-I’m sorry Jean...ju-just...this was a mistake…” and slipped on his shirt. 

I stood there in shock, my eyes wide as I watched Marco scurry to leave my room. Unable to process what just happened, I move to the window. A pain bloomed in my chest I watched Marco run towards his house and out of my life.


	6. Pitiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I, Jean Kirstein, am a stupid, pitiful sap, who thinks the world is ending just because a guy doesn’t like me.  
> I don’t deserve this…  
> I don’t deserve life…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW SO I AM SO SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN SO LONG! I AM THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD! I PROMISE I AM BACK AND I WILL TRY TO WRITE MORE! 
> 
> Now please before reading this chapter know that this has many trigger warnings for; self harm and mental abuse. 
> 
> You have been warned. If you are triggered by this, please skip the parts, I will indicate them in the chapter!

Chapter Six  
    Blood dripped down my chin as I sat on the edge of my bed, my head resting in my hands as I thought of Marco and everything that just happened. I wiped the blood away, sighing as I touched my lip. I must’ve bit it too hard when I was thinking…     Damnit, why did he have to leave like that? I don’t understand.     Does he like me? Or no?     We fucked...does he regret it?  
    Was I bad?!  
    This really isn’t helping my self esteem right now...damnit, I really like Marco. Why did he have to go break my heart like?!  
    I thought that we had something there, but I guess I was wrong like always…Welp, looks like it’s time for me to cry and probably masturbate in the shower.  
    With that thought, I stood up and started towards the bathroom. The only thing on my mind was Marco. My thoughts went from his gorgeous charcoal hair, to his beautiful chocolate eyes, then his laugh that made my heart start to flutter, next his hands that somehow were so rough appearance wise but the softest things to touch….  
    Then finally landed on Marco's everything in general. God, I love his body.  It literally looks like carmel and I just want to eat it all up! And his freckles are my favourite thing in the world, they’re like little stars and I love them. Oh god, and his voice, ugh! Don’t even get me started there.  
    It’s so fucking delectable, like damn. It’s so smooth and constantly gives freaking goosebumps. I wish he was here again...I miss him…  
    A small sniffle escaped from me as I moved to turn on the shower. Immediately I turned the faucet to boiling hot. Good, hot and painful just like I like it. I want pain. I don’t deserve happiness...I’m disgusting...and stupid...no wonder Marco hit me. I deserved it. I shouldn’t have pushed him. He probably is uncomfortable with me now.  
    I’m just a disgusting, sex obsessed, pervert…  
(TRIGGER WARNING!)  
    Slipping into the shower, I winced lightly at the pain of the boiling hot water splashing against me skin. I bit down my lip and slid down the wall in the shower to sit on the floor of the tub. My thin, pale fingers wrapped around my thighs, only making it a third of the way around. I hate this. I hate my appearance. I hate myself. Why can’t Marco love me? I mean...I thought I would have a chance...but he’s probably just like Eren.  
    “Fat.”  
    “Worthless.”  
    “Disgusting.”  
    “Useless.”  
    “Pig.”  
    “Idiotic.”  
    The words flew through my mind as if Eren was right in front of me. I would never tell anyone that I still had feelings for the asshole, but it was my fault that he left me. I deserved every insult he threw at me. I should have realized by now that I’m unlovable…  
    Running my chapped fingers through my disgustingly greasy hair. Tugging at the strands I felt a few loose pieces fall out. Taking my hand away from my head I stared now at the strands of copper blonde hair in my hand with disgusting. God, I’m like a freaking dog shedding.  
(TRIGGER WARNING AGAIN!)  
    I need to stop being such a ball of self hate but I can’t. It’s like I can no longer control my feelings. Everything is just painfully numb. I want to feel something! Anything! By now the boiling hot water has decreased to lukewarm now, and I hate it…  
    In the corner of my eye I catch sight of a blade glimmer with water stains.  
No.  
My hand slowly reached over for the blade, lifting it up as I inspected it.  
Stop!  
Fiddling with it slowly, my fingers grasped it. The blade with shining a bold shade of silver with no stains. It was beautiful in my opinion...my only escape from this hell that I call reality.  
DON’T DO IT!  
Pushing away all of my thoughts I closed my eyes, the blade hitting my wrist as release started setting it.  
This might sound sadistic but the feeling of the cold liquid running down my wrist gave me a sense of peace. Strange I know, but what can I say? I enjoy the pain.  
Hot tears rolled down my pale cheeks, a sob escaping my lips.  
Harming over a boy...god...I’m pathetic…  
I, Jean Kirstein, am a stupid, pitiful sap, who thinks the world is ending just because a guy doesn’t like me.  
I don’t deserve this…  
I don’t deserve life…  
With a shaking a hand, I slowly ran the blade down my arm, not looking as I tilted my head back and dozed off into blissful darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this chapter was just all about the angst. I swear the next one will be more upbeat! 
> 
> SPOILER ALERT!  
> Jean goes on a date and Marco get jealous!!!!!!  
> Also you will see more of Connie and Sasha in the next chapter as well as Satan (I mean Eren).  
> So yeah! I'll see ya'll soon!!!!!


	7. Fresh Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know, comparing Marco and Armin together this is something they both have in common. They have this angelic tone in their voice and a smile sweeter than cotton candy. Another thing they have in common is just by speaking to me they can make me feel light headed and queasy. Yes, Marco does more than Armin. The feel I get around Armin warm and loving in almost friendly since, but with Marco I feel like I’m burning up and that I’m either going to puke or jizz in my pants. I guess their is a rather large difference between how I feel with them each.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOO! ANOTHER CHAPTER! AND NOT FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH ANGST! I HOPE YOU GUYS LOVE THISSSSS!

Chapter Seven  
    “Oh my god, Jean!”   
    A high pitched voice echoed as a warm hand cupped my aching wrists. Shit...what did I do last night?   
    My eyes slowly opened as my entire body shriveled up as bright light poured into my pupils. Blinking multiple times my eyes rested on a the worried expression of Sasha, a small smile resting on my face. Did she come to check on me? Wait, why did she come?  
    I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out as it felt almost as if I had cotton in it. Coughing roughly, I arched over. I caught sight of my wrists. They were bandaged with white wrapping that was tainted slightly pink from blood. Oh...yeah…  
    “Here dude,” I glanced up at the voice, seeing Connie holding out a glass of water towards me.   
    I took the glass from him, smiling a little. Maybe these guys are good friends...I should trust them more. I mean, this isn’t the first time they have found me like this. A sigh escaped my lips after I down the entire glass of water.   
    The two were sitting on the edge of the bathtub, Connie holding a towel in his arms while Sasha was holding her cell with 911 typed in but not dialed. My smile faded immediately into a frown, a shaky hand running through my hair then.   
    “Look you guys...I’m really sorry for this...I messed up…” I said, my voice cracking as I felt tears begin to pierce my eyes once again. Shit, don’t cry. They may have seen me at my weakest whenever I relapsed but they have never seen me cry. And they aren’t going to today.   
    “You’re a dumbass…” Sasha growled a little, tossing clothes at me when she stood up. I became very aware that I was currently nude. Self conscious, I quickly covered my junk and stood up. I slipped on the hoodie they had grabbed, smiling as I saw that it was my MCR one. I love that band. Quickly then I put on my boxers and jeans.   
    Stretching a little, I stepped out of the bath tub and looked at the others.   
    “So what now?” I asked them, acting like nothing had happened. They both knew to not push. If I wanted to talk about it then I would have already. Connie smirked at me, handing over my phone.   
    “Well, /you/ are late for your date,” He stated with a snicker.   
    “Hah?!” I questioned, checking my phone.   
14 missed calls, 86 unread texts.   
    SHIT! I HAD DATE WITH ARLERT TODAY!  
    Without another word, I rushed out of my bathroom. I nearly fell down the stairs as I flew out of the house. Shit, shit, shit, shit. He must think I’m a massive asshole who was standing him up!   
    I struggled to unlock my truck while cursing before getting into it, slamming the door. I dialed the the blonde male's number and called him. My fingers tapped against the steering wheel while I drove, my teeth clenching down on my bottom lip. After three rings I heard a sniffly voice answer from the other side.   
    “H...Hello?” Arlert’s broken voice rang softly through the receiver. Oh shit, he sounds so sad!  
    “I am so sorry Armin! I slept in! I’m on my way right now, please tell me you’re still at the pizza place!” I rambled slightly with a panicked tone. A soft laugh drifted through my phone a soft smile found it’s way to my face.   
    “It’s alright. I’m here still, I ordered your favourite. They’re keeping it warm,” Armin said with his soft angelic voice, making me want to melt.   
    You know, comparing Marco and Armin together this is something they both have in common. They have this angelic tone in their voice and a smile sweeter than cotton candy. Another thing they have in common is just by speaking to me they can make me feel light headed and queasy. Yes, Marco does more than Armin. The feel I get around Armin warm and loving in almost friendly since, but with Marco I feel like I’m burning up and that I’m either going to puke or jizz in my pants. I guess their is a rather large difference between how I feel with them each.   
    “Thanks ‘min, you’re the best!” I said with a happy tone. With that, I got off the phone and drove the pizza place. It was a new place. It had started business a few days ago. I don’t know how to pronounce the name. All I know is it’s something italian and ends with pizzeria.   
    I arrive at the restaurant rather quickly and rush in, skidding on the ice occasionally before getting inside. Immediately I was bombarded by many different smells. Ohmygod, I’mma start drooling. The smell of mozzarella and tomato sauce floated into my nose as I walked further into the pizzeria.   
    “Jean!” A voice tore me out of my pizza fantasy world. My eyes flickered over as I spotted Armin in a corner, his little arms waving to get my attention. A soft chuckle left my mouth as I saw him. I moved over to the table, sitting across from him. A grin rested on my face as I saw Armin look at me with a grin.   
    This boys smile was so f-ing contagious oh my lord...  
    “S..So...how did you sleep?” Armin asked shyly, as his pale fingers fiddled with the strings from his pastel blue hoodie. This cute little motherfu-  
    Armin always wears pastel colours. I think he’s one of those people who would fall into the section of tumblr that wear all pastels and love plants and animals and are vegans. I mean, Armin is a vegetarian but-  
    Maybe he likes the colours? I dunno know. He has always had a feminine style so, whatever.   
    “I slept well I guess, what about you?” I asked, resting my chin on my hand.  
    The blonde boy’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink as he scratched his left cheek nervously, “Good! Uh...oh our pizza!”   
    I perked up then as I looked over to see a familiar person walking over with our pizza in their hands.   
    Wait.  
    Wait.   
    Is that?  
    No, maybe I’m just seeing things…  
    It can’t be!  
    “H...hey Jean...fancy seeing you here, huh?”  
    Marco stared at me, holding a platter with a half cheese, half pepperoni pizza. The boy was wearing a visor with with the logo for the restuarant on it as well as a blazer polo with a nametag that read; “Marco Bodt <3”.   
    Oh shit.   
\-----------------------------------------

    The table was silent as I scoffed down slices of pepperoni pizza, Armin nibbling on a piece of cheese pizza. Neither of us had said a word since Marco had dropped off the pizza.   
    That was hella awkward. I mean, Marco probably thinks I’m some kind of player or something. I don’t know! I mean, I was kinda hoping that the next time I saw Marco would be like in a week or few days. Not so soon… though I’m kind of happy I did see him. I missed him…  
    Plus, his booty was poppin’ in those skinny jeans he was wearing.   
    Poor Armin, I mean, he has no clue what’s happening right now. He doesn’t know anything that happened between me and Marco…  
    Maybe I should tell him…no. I can’t. He wouldn’t understand. No one would. I’ll just keep it to myself...like always.   
    A frown rested on my face as I leaned back against my chair, sighing a little.   
    “Are you okay, Jean?” Armin asked me in a gentle voice, his hand resting on mine as he smiled.  
    I gave him a smile in return, reaching up and ruffling up the boy’s hair with a chuckle, “yeah, I’m all good. It’s nothing for you to worry your cute little head over,” I smiled at him.   
    In the back ground I heard a loud smash followed by a someone shouting ‘DUDE! MY PIZZA!’  
    Both Armin and I glanced over, catching sight of Marco staring at us with a splattered pizza in front of him on the floor. My gaze became a concerned one as I saw Marco’s father walked out from the back and grabbed Marco, tugging him into the back. I frowned as I stood up.   
    “Please excuse me…” I grumbled and rushed over to where Marco had been taken to. A frown rested on my face as I listened to Marco getting lectured by his father.   
    Once his father left, I slowly walked around the corner toward Marco. My amber eyes met with the others chocolatey brown eyes. Slowly, I stepped towards Marco.   
    “Hey...are you okay?” I asked softly with a concerned tone in my voice. Marco stared at me for a second before grabbing my arm, his hands no longer soft. They felt rough and hard now, not soft and sweet like when we had first met.   
    Marco dragged me into a supply closet, pushing me against the wall. Before I could even react, a familiar set of lips were pressed against mine. A frown came to my face as I pushed him away.   
    “Okay, what the hell dude? I mean, first you like you’re not interested, then you act like you are, then you don’t, then you do again?! What the actual hell. Do you just like messing with my feelings or what?” I snapped with a frustrated groan. I paced a little in the closet, “look, I really like you but you need to stop this. I mean, what are we even? Are we together or not? And why are you constantly like this, I’m so confused!”   
    “Jean...please...let me explain…” Marco sighed as I rambled.   
    I took a deep breath then, slowly nodding at him. Sinking down to the ground, I looked over at Marco, waiting for him to explain.    
    “Look, I like you too,” Marco started, my lips parting to speak but he continued, “but, my family is very...traditional. They don’t think that these relationships are right. And I don’t mean to make it sound like us dating is unusual, I know being gay is fine but my family doesn’t and I haven’t felt this way about someone like ever and it scares me, I don’t want my family to find out. They will probably disown me. I don’t know, it’s stupid…”   
    Once Marco finished speaking, I gave a sigh and smiled at him. I took him into a tight hug, pressing a kiss to his forehead.   
    “Look, I understand...My mom is kind of the same. She is getting more use to it but...I don’t know. If you don’t want to be together I understand...but just don’t play with my feelings anymore…”   
    With that, I backed away from him. I moved to walk out of the closet, feeling a hand wrap around my wrist as I winced, “wait, Jean. Please, I want to be with you but…”  
    “But what?” I asked softly, keeping my back towards him. Marco stayed silent as his head dropped down. I gave a soft scoff, “that’s what I thought…”  
    I ripped my arm away from him and walked out of the closet, biting my tongue as I held back all of my feelings. My feet felt heavy as I walked, searching for Armin. I shouldn’t have checked on Marco. That was maybe the dumbest thing I’ve done today.   
    I felt my breath get caught in my throat as I finally found Armin. Eren was with him, caressing the little blonde's face with a comforting smile, Armin, cutely tilting his head into his hand. There goes my only chance of a boyfriend that actually cares…  
    “Man dude, love hates you.”   
    I jumped then as I heard the other, glancing over as I saw Connie munching on pizza with Sasha next to him. A glare rested on my face as I looked at them.   
    “Have you two been here this entire time?” My voice grew annoyed as they both nodded.   
    Sasha then spoke up in between bites of piece, “Watch out, freckles at 4 o’clock.”   
    I spun around as I saw Marco walking towards us. I was about to say something but Marco stuck out his hand then.   
    “Let’s restart. I’m Marco Bodt. I promise I will not hit you or randomly try to make out with you,” Marco said smoothly. I looked at him before slowly laughing.  
    My laughter soon transformed into full on snorts as I took his hand, wiping tears from my eyes that had appeared from laughing so hard. I gave him a big smile as I spoke, “I’m Jean Kirstein and I do promise to make flirtatious advances towards you and more in likely invite you over for scary movie nights even though I don’t like them.”   
    With that we both laughed, Sasha and Connie just standing next to us.  
    “That might have been the literal cheesiest recovery I have ever seen…” Connie whispered hardly audible for me to here.   
    “Yeah, but at least they get a fresh start…” Sasha smiled at him softly then, looking at me and Marco.  
    Marco gave me a big smile as he glanced at the clock, “hey, my shift ends in five...do you want to go hang out or something?” He asked with a soft smile.   
    I bit my lip, nodding a little enthusiastically.   
    “I’d like that...I’d like that a lot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey dudes, I'mma try to get another chapter in today. I will try. I hope you like this chapter!


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